 |
| |
| Clinton Reveals New 'Living America' Tax Plan | | Posted by webmaster on 25-Nov-2003 | | 606 people have seen this joke. | |
Dateline: Washington, D.C.
In his boldest move yet to establish his legacy, President William
Jefferson Clinton today unveiled to reporters his most sweeping proposal
yet which he pronounced to be for the benefit of all living Americans.
The heart of his proposal is a new Federal 'Death Tax', which under his
plan will be applied to every American citizen who dies, regardless of
wherever in the world the demise takes place, or why.
"Dying is about the most un-American thing our citizens can be doing
these days", said the President. "In this new millenium where the
United States Government is trying to do everything in it's power to
provide unlimited health, happiness, and security for all it's citizens,
a lot of money is going to be needed to put new programs in place.
Every tax payer that dies is cheating the federal government out of
badly needed continuing funds.", he stated.
The President conceeded that his new plan is still in it's formative
stages with some details still to be worked out, but did indicate that
the Death Tax will be imposed on a sliding scale based on the earnings
potential and remaining life expectancy of the deceased. "It is
perfectly obvious that a high income taxpayer that dies at an early age
will be depriving his or her fellow Americans of a much greater future
contribution than elderly low income people that would be expected to
die without paying much tax anyway.", he said.
Initial public reaction to the President's proposal was mixed.
Presidential hopeful George W. Bush immediately derided the plan, saying
it was false economics to believe the government could put deceased
taxpayer's money to better use than their heirs, as most heirs squander
their inheritances immediately and therefore put the money directly into
the economy. An unlikely ally to Bush, the Reverend Jesse Jackson,
joined in the criticism, but for different reasons. "It is
unconscionable to me,", said Reverend Jackson, "that the President would
deprive the less fortunate the opportunity to give their fair share to
the nation's greatness. To suggest that the poor cannot provide Death
Taxes as great as the affluent denies recognition of the worth and self
esteem of every citizen, and I demand that any final passage of such
legislation allow the same tax from the homeless as from the rich and
famous." When pressed on the issue, Reverend Jackson did concede that
the assets of the poor would probably be insufficient to cover the
higher tax, but offered the solution that their contributions could be
covered by a surcharge on the Death Tax liabilities of the rich.
Congressional reaction was unavailable as of press time. Although the
Congress is currently in session, it was conveniently out to lunch,
thereby giving it's members time to postpone developing positions on the
new plan until the various public opinion polls could be made.
Political experts around the Capitol generally agreed that the delay
could have been expected. Activist James Carville told reporters "You
can't expect those stinkin' greedy Republicans to give reactions to a
great plan like this before they have time to figure their cuts of the
tax.". Meanwhile, columnist George Will countered by claiming the
minority Democratic leadership was being urged by Vice President Al Gore
to stall until he could come up with a plausible explanation as to how
he had managed to 'invent' the concept of the new tax. |
|  Print this joke |  Send the joke to your friend |
|
|
1 people have rated this joke:
|
|
|
|
|
|
News
Greek Forums
Greek Buddy Icons
Greek Jokes
News
Community
Feedback
Members
