Clinton Reveals New 'Living America' Tax Plan Dateline: Washington, D.C. In his boldest move yet to establish his legacy, President William Jefferson Clinton today unveiled to reporters his most sweeping proposal yet which he pronounced to be for the benefit of all living Americans. The heart of his proposal is a new Federal 'Death Tax', which under his plan will be applied to every American citizen who dies, regardless of wherever in the world the demise takes place, or why. "Dying is about the most un-American thing our citizens can be doing these days", said the President. "In this new millenium where the United States Government is trying to do everything in it's power to provide unlimited health, happiness, and security for all it's citizens, a lot of money is going to be needed to put new programs in place. Every tax payer that dies is cheating the federal government out of badly needed continuing funds.", he stated. The President conceeded that his new plan is still in it's formative stages with some details still to be worked out, but did indicate that the Death Tax will be imposed on a sliding scale based on the earnings potential and remaining life expectancy of the deceased. "It is perfectly obvious that a high income taxpayer that dies at an early age will be depriving his or her fellow Americans of a much greater future contribution than elderly low income people that would be expected to die without paying much tax anyway.", he said. Initial public reaction to the President's proposal was mixed. Presidential hopeful George W. Bush immediately derided the plan, saying it was false economics to believe the government could put deceased taxpayer's money to better use than their heirs, as most heirs squander their inheritances immediately and therefore put the money directly into the economy. An unlikely ally to Bush, the Reverend Jesse Jackson, joined in the criticism, but for different reasons. "It is unconscionable to me,", said Reverend Jackson, "that the President would deprive the less fortunate the opportunity to give their fair share to the nation's greatness. To suggest that the poor cannot provide Death Taxes as great as the affluent denies recognition of the worth and self esteem of every citizen, and I demand that any final passage of such legislation allow the same tax from the homeless as from the rich and famous." When pressed on the issue, Reverend Jackson did concede that the assets of the poor would probably be insufficient to cover the higher tax, but offered the solution that their contributions could be covered by a surcharge on the Death Tax liabilities of the rich. Congressional reaction was unavailable as of press time. Although the Congress is currently in session, it was conveniently out to lunch, thereby giving it's members time to postpone developing positions on the new plan until the various public opinion polls could be made. Political experts around the Capitol generally agreed that the delay could have been expected. Activist James Carville told reporters "You can't expect those stinkin' greedy Republicans to give reactions to a great plan like this before they have time to figure their cuts of the tax.". Meanwhile, columnist George Will countered by claiming the minority Democratic leadership was being urged by Vice President Al Gore to stall until he could come up with a plausible explanation as to how he had managed to 'invent' the concept of the new tax. |